How to Start a Conversation on a Dating App Featured Image

Swipe Right, Chat Right: How to Start a Conversation on a Dating App with Anyone

Have you ever found yourself staring at a screen, wondering how to transform that digital “Swipe Right” into a charming, engaging conversation? I was once in that exact boat, heart racing as I matched with someone who seemed just perfect. There I was, clutching my phone like a lifeline, my mind racing faster than my fingers could type. Should I start with a joke, a compliment, or dive straight into common interests? That moment of hesitation felt like standing on the edge of a diving board, peering into the unknown depths of digital dating.

Transitioning from this tale of digital jitters to the heart of our guide, let’s embark on a journey together. A journey to unravel the art of initiating and sustaining conversations in the world of online dating. Whether you’re new to this scene or a seasoned swiper, this guide will provide you with practical, witty, and effective strategies to break the ice. So, grab a comfy seat, and let’s dive into the world of messaging on dating apps – where every word can be the start of something new and exciting.

The First Message: How to Break the Ice and Start with a Bang on a Dating App

The first message on a dating app is like your opening scene in a movie – it sets the tone and can either captivate your audience or lose them in the first act. It’s your golden opportunity to make a memorable impression and show a glimpse of your personality and interest. So, what makes a first message opener not just good, but great? Let’s break it down:

The best first messages are specific and engaging Meme
  1. Personalization: A great first message is like a well-tailored suit – it fits perfectly. Reference something from their profile, maybe a hobby or a pet they’ve included in their photos. This shows that you’ve taken the time to look beyond their profile picture and are genuinely interested in them as a person.
  2. Creativity: In a sea of “Hey” and “Hi there,” be the message that stands out. Avoid the mundane and bring in a twist of creativity. It could be a playful comment about something in their profile or a creative question that piques their interest.
  3. Humor: A touch of humor can be a real icebreaker. A witty, light-hearted message can make your match smile or laugh, setting a positive tone for the conversation. Remember, the goal is to be charming, not a stand-up comedian.
  4. Open-Endedness: Your message should open the door for further conversation. Ask a question or make a comment that invites a response. It’s like tossing a ball in their court and waiting for them to hit it back.
  5. Timing: Timing can be crucial. According to Nielsen, peak activity times on dating apps are between 9 p.m. and 11 p.m. This is when most people are winding down and more likely to respond. It’s best to send your first message during this time.
  6. Tone Matching: It’s important to gauge your match’s personality and mood from their profile. If they seem serious, a too silly or sarcastic joke might not land well. Similarly, if they’re playful, a very formal message might seem out of place.
  7. Originality: Steer clear of clichés, overused pickup lines, or generic messages. Your match will appreciate a message that feels fresh and tailored to them.

Now, let’s look at some examples of first messages that tick these boxes:

  • “I noticed you’re into hiking. Ever tackled [local trail]? I’m planning a trip there next month and could use some insider tips!”
  • “Your profile says you love cooking. If you were to cook a meal to impress someone, what would be your go-to dish?”
  • “Just read your comment about loving jazz music. Do you have a favorite artist or album? I’m always looking to expand my playlist.”

The key is to keep it light, fun, and engaging. Also, these are conversational principles so there’s no need to overthink if they may only work on Tinder or Bumble or Hinge. Follow them and your first message will get positive responses regardless of the app you are using.

If you need a more in-depth guide specifically on sending the first message on dating apps, we got you covered.

The Chat: How to Keep the Conversation Interesting, Going, and Building on a Dating App

Once you’ve successfully broken the ice with your memorable first message, the real art of conversation begins. The chat phase on a dating app is your chance to dive deeper, creating a connection that goes beyond superficial swipes and small talk. Sorry folks, spamming and generic messages are played out. They really don’t work according to this study. Let’s explore what makes for a great chat:

  1. Engaging: Keep the conversation lively and interesting. Use humor, share anecdotes, and don’t shy away from throwing in a few emojis for good measure. This keeps the mood light and playful.
  2. Balanced: Conversation is a two-way street. Ensure there’s a healthy balance of asking and answering questions. Avoid monopolizing the conversation or making it seem like an interrogation.
  3. Relevance: Focus on topics that you both find interesting. Discuss shared hobbies, passions, dreams, and values. This not only keeps the conversation going but also helps you understand each other better.
  4. Respectful: Steer clear of topics that might be too personal or controversial early on. Respecting each other’s boundaries is key to building trust.
Oh, you want to talk about politics, religion, and exes on the first chat? Please, tell me more Meme
  1. Flirting: A dash of flirtation can spice up the chat. Compliments, light teasing, and playful innuendos signal your interest. However, it’s important to keep it subtle and respectful. Too much flirty and you will start projecting a hookup culture vibe.
  2. Active Listening: Show genuine interest in what your match shares. Ask follow-up questions, make relevant comments, and provide thoughtful feedback. This demonstrates that you value their thoughts and opinions.
  3. Escalating: When the time feels right, don’t hesitate to suggest taking the conversation off the app. Proposing a phone call, video chat, or even a meet-up can move things forward and help gauge real-life chemistry. The idea of online dating is to escalate the online conversation into a first date, after all.

To help you craft engaging chats, here are some conversation starter examples:

  • Commenting on Their Profile: “I saw you’re a fan of [band/artist]. I’m going to their concert next month! Have you seen them live before?”
  • Based on Your Location: “I noticed we’re both in [city]. Have you tried [local cafe or landmark]? It’s on my to-visit list!”
  • Current Events: “Have you been following [current event]? It’s fascinating and a bit surprising, don’t you think?”
  • Playful Challenge: “I bet I can guess your favorite movie genre in three tries. Ready for the challenge?”

The goal of the chat is to build a connection and keep things moving forward. Following the principles above will allow you to set the stage for a meaningful and possibly romantic connection.


In the journey of online dating, mastering the art of conversation is akin to finding the secret sauce to your favorite dish. It’s what transforms matches into meaningful connections. Let’s quickly recap the key ingredients of our guide:

  • The First Message: This is your moment to shine. Make it personalized, creative, humorous, and open-ended. Timing and tone are also crucial, as is originality. Your first message is the opening note of your potential love symphony.
  • The Chat: Here’s where the plot thickens. Keep it engaging, balanced, and relevant. Add a sprinkle of respectful flirting and active listening to show genuine interest. When the time is right, don’t hesitate to escalate and move the conversation forward.
Talk only about yourself Meme

By applying these strategies, not only will you break the ice, but you’ll also keep the conversation flowing like a refreshing stream. You’ll discover the joys of building rapport and trust, while potentially paving the way for a romantic adventure.

The ball is on your court. Dive into the thrilling world of online dating with these tips in your arsenal. We’re eager to hear about your experiences. Comment below with your stories, questions, or start a discussion. What worked for you? What didn’t? Your insights are invaluable, and who knows, your story might just be the nudge someone else needs to find their match!

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