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How Does One Flirt Successfully? The Dos and Don’ts of Flirting

She was sitting at the bar, sipping her drink, when he walked in. He had a confident smile and a charming aura. He caught her eye and winked at her. She felt a surge of excitement and curiosity. He approached her and said, “Hi, I’m Jake. I couldn’t help noticing you from across the room. You have a beautiful smile.” She blushed and replied, “Thank you, I’m Mia. You’re very kind.” He leaned in and whispered, “And you’re very intriguing. Can I buy you a drink?” She nodded and smiled.

He signaled the bartender and ordered two drinks. He then asked her, “So, what brings you here tonight?” She told him she was celebrating her promotion at work. He congratulated her and said, “That’s awesome. You must be very smart and talented.” He touched her arm lightly and looked into her eyes. She felt a spark of attraction and interest. He continued the conversation with humor and compliments. She laughed and flirted back. They had a great time and exchanged phone numbers. He kissed her cheek and said, “I hope to see you again soon.” She agreed and said, “Me too.”

Have you ever experienced something like this? A moment of connection and chemistry with someone you find attractive? A feeling of excitement and anticipation when you flirt with someone you like? If you have, then you know how fun and rewarding flirting can be. If you haven’t, then you might be wondering how does one flirt successfully?

Flirting is an art and a skill that anyone can learn and master. It is a way of communicating your attraction and interest to someone you like, without being too direct or obvious. It is a way of creating a playful and positive vibe between you and your crush, without being too serious or boring. It is a way of showing your personality and charm, without being too fake or cheesy.

In this article, you will find out how to flirt successfully (in person or over text) and what to avoid when flirting. You will learn the basic and effective ways to signal your attraction and interest to your crush, without being awkward, off-putting, or aggressive. You will discover how to make your crush want you more, without being needy, desperate, or clingy. You will also learn how to overcome your nervousness and awkwardness when flirting, without losing your confidence or authenticity.

Why should you flirt, you ask? Well, flirting is not only fun, but also good for your social and romantic life. It can make you more attractive and interesting to your crush, and also help you get to know them better.

Flirting can be fun and easy, if you know the rules. So read on to find out how to flirt like a pro!

Flirt with Ease: How to Overcome Awkwardness and Nervousness

Flirting can be challenging for many people who feel shy, insecure, or anxious about making a good impression on their crush. They might worry about saying the wrong thing, being rejected, or embarrassing themselves. They might also feel pressure to act in a certain way that they think is “flirty”, but that might not suit their personality or style.

If you are one of those people, then you need to focus on making flirting easy first, especially if you are not used to doing it. This is likely to be the case if this article caught your attention. You might be wondering how to flirt without feeling awkward or nervous.

I’m just a regular guy who likes to flirt Meme

The truth is, if flirting doesn’t become easy or at least enjoyable for you, there’s really no use learning about the hows and the techniques. You would have a hard and anxious time executing them, and your crush would sense your discomfort and lack of confidence. Flirting should be fun and natural, not stressful and forced.

So how can you make flirting easy for yourself? Here are some tips that can help you overcome your awkwardness and nervousness when flirting:

  • Keep a casual mindset. Don’t let your attraction to your crush cloud your judgement that this interaction is, at its essence, just a conversation between human beings. You don’t need to be smooth or flirty or suave. You just need to be friendly and respectful. Treat your crush like a normal person, not like a celebrity or a prize. Don’t put them on a pedestal or idolize them. After all, research has shown that the bulk of social anxiety comes from unrealistic self-presentation and trying to make a preferred impression.
  • Nothing is at stake here. If you get rejected, life moves on as before. You’ll have more chances moving forward. Rejection is not the end of the world, nor is it a reflection of your worth or value as a person. It’s just a sign that you and your crush are not compatible or not on the same page. It’s better to find out sooner than later, so you can move on and find someone who is right for you. Don’t let fear of rejection stop you from flirting or expressing your interest.
  • Don’t take rejection personally. Rejection is not personal or humiliating. It’s just a part of life. I always tell myself that if I flirt with my crush and they reject me, nothing really changes. I’m still in the same situation as before, where I don’t talk to them. But if they respond and, even better, agree to go out with me, that’s a huge win. So flirting with my crush is a no-brainer. The only risk is rejection, and the potential reward is amazing.
  • Be yourself. Flirting doesn’t require you to act like someone else. Instead of copying what others do or say, you can be original and authentic. You can also avoid cliché or boring lines, jokes, or compliments. And you can limit your touch, stare, or whisper to a reasonable amount. These things might not work for you or your crush, and they might seem fake, creepy, or desperate. The best way to flirt is to be yourself and let your personality and charm shine through.
  • Be a decent conversationalist. Practice talking to different people, not just your crush, to improve your communication skills and social confidence. Being an active listener and being genuinely interested in other people goes a long way. When you’re finally comfortable with talking to people, add humor to your repertoire. Use sarcasm, irony, exaggeration, wordplay, teasing, banter, or innuendo. But be respectful and appropriate with your humor. Don’t make fun of something that might hurt or offend other people.
  • Engage in positive self-talk. Don’t let negative thoughts ruin your flirting game. You are awesome, and your crush will see that. Tell yourself that you can do this, and you will. Think positively and affirm yourself. Say it out loud or in your mind. Write it down and read it. Feel calm, confident, and relaxed.

How to Flirt with Your Crush and Make Them Want You

Now that you are able to relax and be normal around your crush, we can actually talk about flirting moves and techniques you can do to flirt with your crush and make them want you. Here are some of the best ways to flirt with your crush and make them interested in you:

  • Smile and hi. Those are the basics of positive human interaction. A smile is a powerful way to show your friendliness and happiness. Your crush will find you more attractive and easy to talk to. They will also feel good and positive around you. Saying hi is a courteous and respectful way to acknowledge your crush and show them your interest and attention. It can also lead to more conversation and interaction with them.
  • Thoughtful, open-ended questions. To flirt well, you need to talk well. You need to make your crush enjoy talking to you and want to talk more. How do you do that? By asking open ended questions that make them open up about themselves. Don’t use boring or rehearsed responses or scripts. Be genuinely curious and enthusiastic about the person you are talking to, not just their appearance, occupation, or identity. The conversation will be smooth and natural if you do that.
How to keep the conversation going with your crush, You get a question Meme
  • Open up whenever they do. Flirting is a two-way street. You need to give and take, not just take. You need to tell your crush something about yourself, not just listen to them or ask them questions. But don’t spill everything or go overboard. Don’t lay all your cards on the table or go into details. Leave some room for mystery and curiosity. A good rule of thumb is to wait for your crush to open up before you do.
  • Give genuine compliments. The key word here is genuine. Compliments that are insincere feel undeserved, and they produce the opposite effect. Compliments are a great way to flirt with your crush and make them happy. They can also show your crush that you like them and find them attractive, without being too obvious or forward. But don’t compliment them for no reason. Compliment something that you really appreciate or admire about your crush, such as their looks, personality, skills, or achievements.
  • Honesty is the best policy. Always be honest. Honesty is attractive while also saving you from trouble and confusion in the long run. Honesty doesn’t mean that you have to divulge everything about yourself at once. It means that whatever information you divulge, make sure they are the truth. Don’t lie or exaggerate to impress your crush. Don’t pretend to be someone or something you’re not.
  • Send subtle signals. Flirting is about sending subtle signals to your crush. You want to show them that you like them and want to be closer to them, but not too much or too soon. These signals can help you see how your crush feels about you, by watching how they react to them.
  • Tease and challenge your crush. Flirting is more than being nice and friendly. It’s also about making your crush feel excited and curious about you, by teasing and challenging them. This can spice up your conversation and show your charm and personality. It can also show your crush that you are not boring or easy to get. You can make fun of yourself, your crush, or the situation. But be careful not to cross the line. Don’t be offensive or hurtful. Read the situation and the atmosphere.
  • Escalate to a date. If you and your crush have been flirting for a while, and you think they like you too, then you need to take the next step and ask for a date. Asking for a date can be scary, but it doesn’t have to be. You just need to be calm and confident when you ask, like in a “matter-of-fact” tone. You can also use humor or creativity to make it more fun and memorable.

Flirting over Text: The Dos and Don’ts of Texting Your Crush

Flirting through text and instant messaging is different from flirting in person. Granted, some social principles are the same online as they are in real life, but digital interactions present new rules, opportunities, and challenges. Also, we live in the modern digitally-connected world, there’s no way to really go around digital messaging. We might as well learn how to do so well, and by extension, improve our digital flirting as well.

Here are some of the dos and don’ts of texting your crush:

Text Flirting Do’s

  • Lead with a valid reason. Don’t just text “hey”. That’s boring and lazy. Text something that shows your interest and curiosity. A good way is to ask a question related to their posts, such as their pictures or messages.
How not to text your crush Meme
  • Match their tempo. If they reply fast, reply fast too. If they reply slow, reply slow too. Don’t be too eager or too aloof. Try to match their pace and style.
  • Keep it short and snappy. Nobody likes to read long texts. They are hard to follow and tedious. Keep your texts short and simple. Use emojis, gifs, or memes to add some flavor and fun.
  • Send flirty texts when appropriate. You’ll know when it’s appropriate, trust your instincts. If the mood is right, send some flirty texts to show your attraction and interest. Pay attention to their response. If they respond positively, keep flirting. If not, stop immediately.
  • End on a high note. Don’t drag the conversation too long or end it abruptly. End it when it’s still fun and lively. Leave them wanting more and looking forward to hearing from you again.

Text Flirting Don’ts

  • Don’t text too often or too late. Don’t be clingy or creepy. Don’t text them every hour or every day. Don’t text them in the middle of the night or early in the morning. Give them some space and respect their time.
  • Don’t send multiple texts in a row. Don’t text them more than once if they don’t reply right away. Double-texting is okay sometimes, but triple-texting is too much. If they don’t respond after three texts, leave them alone.
  • No nudes. Just don’t do it. It’s too risky and not worth it, especially long term. If you need nudes to get your crush’s attention, that’s not a good sign. You want your crush to like you for who you are, not for what you look like naked.

Also, we have more in-depth guides about sending the first message in dating apps as well as how to casually text a guy. You can read through those to gain more insights.


We hope that this article has given you the basics of how to flirt with your crush and make them want you. Whether you are a beginner or an expert, flirting is a skill that you can always improve and have fun with. Flirting is not just about saying or doing the right things, but also about being yourself and enjoying the moment.

If you want to learn more about flirting, you can check out our related article on how to rizz someone up. Rizzing is a term used by young daters to describe the art of flirting and creating attraction. It’s similar to what we have discussed in this article, but with some more tips and tricks. You will definitely find it useful and interesting.

Now it’s your turn to put these tips into practice and flirt with your crush. We wish you all the best and hope that you get the results you want. Let us know how it goes by commenting below. We would love to hear from you!

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